CHAPTER ONE: Not a Normal Wedding by Tina Semanas Standing in front of a silver gilded long length mirror, Beck took one final look at the finished product of her bridal masquerade. Her reflection said it all, “Let’s get this ruse over with.” After uncoupling with Lacy, her long-time ex-lover, Beck was finished with the drama and Lacy’s constant need to compete for attention. And she hated fighting the daily fem-power struggle for control. Enough was enough. Beck wanted money and freedom, and Athan was the surest path to ease and riches. All it took to get her hands on his cash was walking through the outdated motions of the primitive marriage rite. Athan was a sucker for cosmetic enhancements and platinum blond implants; and she knew his silly ideal of romantic love blinded him to the legal disadvantage cisgendered men were subject to. Once Athan said “I do”, he was trapped. All powers and privileges were ceded over to the woman as controlling partner of the contract. If he ever raised his voice to her, his hand or the living room heartbeat monitor registered increased palpitations, she could sue for all his monies based on the old 2054 D.A.P. (Domestic Abuse Prevention) Policy that clearly stated: “Any sign of cis-male on female, trans-male, or non-binary aggression; be it word, deed, cardio escalation, body temperature increase, or unacceptable hand gesture, allows for the threatened party to preemptively curtail the spousal threat of violence. Notification of local NWP agents and use of household stun sticks are recommended and non-prosecutable in civil court. All monies, properties, financial holdings, and securities are immediately forfeited and to be handed over to the offended partner to pay for damages and personal use.” Beck silently whispered smirking to herself, “Gullible sap! I will give the marriage two-weeks, please him in bed for a couple nights, and then cry abuse. Men, so easy, so disposable. And Athan, oh, so rich.” Soon Beck was being escorted down the aisle by her Aunt Ina, the famous cellular architect, who was wearing her signature long black lace dress with pink combat boots. Beck herself chose the audacious choice of a simple white A-line wedding gown, knowing it would help Athan fall deeper into believing her false show of devotion and loyalty. She knew what to do to excite his want. “Do you promise to join into an asset sharing agreement, respecting each other’s equality, and being available for each other? Do you agree to share your space for the purpose of wellness? Do you want to express before this community quorum the bond of a serious companionship? To form this union say, ‘I do!’” Athan and Beck both replied as expected. After exchanging necklaces and signing papers, they sealed the agreement with a kiss. Smiling, the trans-minister declared, “Here we have Beck and Athan, friends, partners, for now!” Arm in arm the new couple lighted down the steps, past the crowd of well wishers, and out the doors of the makeshift chapel. Beck quickly threw her corsage of fresh cut roses into a nearby recycling vent, “I hate flowers,” she murmured, “symbols of feminine weakness.” Athan not even noticing her small flex of power, looked lustfully at his newly bought prize, “Get in, let's get out of here.” She slid into seat of the glider, content for the moment. Smiling, she knew she just secured her fortune. --------------------------------------------------- Drew walked confidently in the back door, and immediately bounded downstairs hoping to avoid another lecture from Dia, his adult-caretaker. Secretly, she was also his true birth-parent. He heard loud talking upstairs, feet shuffling, and sure enough, soft padding started coming down the staircase in his direction. “Drew Topher Dias, I was talking to your sister, and she followed you. I know everything...” “That snitch! I want to strangle Ara right now - - where is she?” Drew fumed. Dia with arms crossed, sternly addressed her charge, “Drew, you have to be so careful! Equality codes have already deemed you to have an unfair advantage on three counts, and two more means reparation camp is your only option.” Drew slunk down in his chair. “You know what happened to Red’s dad...ahem...I mean home-mentor? The camp tried the regression apps on him and they didn’t work, he somehow learned to mentally override the behavior algorithm, so he was exiled! If that ever happened to you, I couldn’t live.” Drew stood up, “But Dia, it was only one stinkin’ game of an obsolete sport called football! One game? I read about it in Phen’s stash of papers hidden in the upstairs attic. That’s also where I found the ball. It sounded fun, we were careful.” “That’s just it,” Dia snapped, “The Neighborhood Watch Patrol would love nothing more than catch groups of rogue civilians violating community rules. It boosts their equality allowance.” A small tear rolled down Dia’s cheek, “And besides, one game of physical force, football as you call it, is an immediate three count. You know that!” Drew hung his head, “How can a few hours of messing around trying to learn a extinct tribal game, played by innocent kids, be so dangerous, so criminal?” “Drew, we have been over this a hundred times -- The Sisters determined any physical competition that results in inequity, a winner and loser, violates the compassion requirement. Any chance of expressed violence and injury resulting from it could threaten a community's reputation. It’s been hammered it in our heads that those who have higher counts of testosterone levels can't help but excel in such primitive barbarism. Therefore, even your silly game of football, is an activity that needs to be sanctioned and punished.” “But Dia,” Drew insisted, “women compete in selfie wars on ‘Vanity Night’, our own fine arts school rewards the clearest alto and soprano with crowns and national tours - - both are competitions aren’t they? Don't you see the hypocrisy?” “Shut your mouth, now! Never cast doubt on the wisdom of The Sisters. They determine status, placement and reward. If they ever found out through gossip chains you disparaged their judgment they will wash you. I’ve witnessed the cleansing firsthand of Phen. You have seen pictures of your original home-mentor, now he is a mindless laborer standing on-line installing glider parts. I do not want that for you. I can’t even think it!” Dia broke down, and collapsed on a cushioned pot-chair next to Drew. “Dia, I promise you, I will be careful,” he earnestly pleaded. “No, you will be done!” She stood up and gave one final pleading look at Drew before she padded back up the staircase. “O.K., O.K, I’m done.” Upstairs, Ara was listening through the heating ducts. She heard the whole discourse. She wondered, “Washed? Cleansing? Was Drew really a criminal for wanting to simply throw an old, worn out play ball with his friends?” She knew she had to keep her thoughts to herself. She dreaded the next day of school...moving up to ‘Colleen Camp.’
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“The most dangerous sin of all is the presumption of righteousness.” – Martin Luther "Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me!" - Psalm 19:13 You know the heartbreaking story all too well. It has been told a hundred different ways, concerning a hundred different people. It asks one simple question that Jesus followers forever wonder: “Is it possible for a person to have once professed the Christian faith, enjoyed Christian fellowship, and even engaged in Christian witness but over time they have chosen to rebel against the light they have known and behaved as both hypocrites and enemies of Christ to such a degree they are cut off forever from the eternal life found in Christ?” In other words, is there a red line you can cross with God? In ordination councils this topic is often explored through this familiar stream of questioning:
I will say, from my theological perspective, only God knows who are his elect. There are some things we will never be privy to; and I believe it is impossible to ever “fully” know beyond the shadow of a doubt who is really his? That is why the individual believer is exhorted to continue to “examine yourself” to see if you are in the faith (2 corinthians 13:5). There is also some sense in which you can, through consistent obedience that is born of faith, make your calling and election sure (2 Peter 1:10). But apostasy (falling away) happens - - and we must never minimize it! One writer commenting on the book of Hebrews 6:4-6 says, “The danger of apostasy, it must be emphasized, is real, not imaginary; otherwise this epistle with its high-sounding admonitions must be dismissed as trifling, worthless, and ridiculous. Certainly, the situation of apostasy is one of extreme gravity.” It will be a terrible day for those who thought they were "in" finding they are actually "out". But face it, it is not your job to judge who this will be. Oh sure we can test fruit, “Is there love, joy, peace, patience, kindness. . . ?“ But God has never given us the job of deciding exactly who deserves to be “blotted out” from the book of life. We never know what God is doing behind the curtains of his mysterious sovereignty. That is why Paul asks, “Why do you pass judgment on your brother?” (Romans 14:10) So instead of acting as if we have special access to God’s secret wedding list, all we can do is warn obvious acts and attitudes that smell like rebellion. And I think our warning needs to be very simple by quoting another verse in Hebrews 4:7 - “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.” Simple thought, yet troubling. If you hear him, and you choose not to respond to him - - hardening will happen. Like bacon grease, if you don’t keep the heat on it, a layer of crust naturally forms. A hard heart is a stubborn heart: Not willing to budge or take advice, refusing to mourn and grieve over personal sin. If you have a hard heart you probably are known by others as “indifferent.” Living with that perpetual “Who cares?” attitude. Well, God does. In the book of Samuel, God was furious at Saul’s indifference and said to him, “Rebellion is like the sin of witchcraft, presumption as idolatry.” That means Saul in his arrogance stopped seeking God’s advice, and like the pagan idolaters around him, invented a god of his own making. In Saul’s case the idol he erected was himself. In 1 Samuel 14:12 it says he even built a monument to his own greatness. This action grieved the heart of God, which means it made him sick to his stomach. So he rejected Saul as his king. The God of grace actually reached a point where he was done with him “once and for all.” Do you think it is possible for God to reach that point with a professing believer? Can a person’s heart grow so hard that God is done with them? In Romans 9:16-18, Paul says that God allowed Pharaoh’s heart to grow hard for a purpose. If you were to go back to his story found in Exodus 7 there seems to be a hardening progression:
In real time, Pharaoh's hardening was a process of human choices and responses. Even though God knew it would happen in Exodus 4:21, it took years to fully flesh itself out. This process of hardening is still happening; it includes God’s sovereign will working upon man’s daily choices. On man’s side, hardening begins when a person refuses to listen to God’s word. God will then use trouble and hardship to wake someone up to their need, but if they are quick to leave God when things are good, look out! There is also something very troubling in scripture about a hard heart: It will lead a person to sin presumptiously. That means outright sin no longer even bothers them. It is as if they can indulge in gulping down straight shots of evil and iniquity while shaking their fist at God shouting, "So what are you going to do about it, huh?" In Numbers 15:29-30 Moses says: "One and the same law applies to eveyone who sins unintentionally, whether a native-born Israelite or a foreigner residing among you. But anyone who sins defiantly, whether native-born or foreigner, blasphemes the Lord and must be cut off from the people of Israel." In other words, in the Old Testament, there were some sins that would not be forgiven. God had enough! Wow, think about that? A person's heart could grow so hard it was forever lost to God. Does that still apply? If it does, doesn't that trouble you? Do I believe a person's heart could grow so hard that they would be unreachable to the forgiveness and grace of God? Honestly, I don't know? I take comfort in one verse on this point, Acts 13:39 says, "And by him everyone who believes is freed from everything from which you could not be freed by the law of Moses." Jesus is so much better than the law, that those sins which cast you out and cut you off are covered by his blood. Maybe that is why Hebrews 2:3 is so forceful, "How shall we escape retribution if we neglect SUCH A GREAT SALVATION?" If your heart is hard and today you hear his voice, don't let it get any harder. Don't ignore such a great Savior, such a great Salvation, which is the only Solution. But if your heart is hard, "Who cares?" God still does. Did you know that the Count of Monte Cristo was originally published in the Journal des Débats in eighteen parts from 1844-1845? It was a serialized story printed on a weekly basis in the public newspaper of France. Like our weekly television shows, it was used to enhance readership and raise revenues. The writer used a pseudonym to keep his anonymity from readers. I would like to take a go at writing a serialized dystopian novel in 18 parts. So each Monday I will introduce a new chapter under the pseudonym, Tina Semanas. Why a woman? Because female empowerment is the current trend of culture -- women have the upper hand and hold most of the cards these days in opinion -making circles. So Tina is my feminized and de-Christianized name and Semanas is my last name in Hispanic form, another power group. The title of my story is “2185: We Are Big Sis.” INTRODUCTION: On Green Grass by Tina Semanas “Run, pick up the football and run!” Without hesitation Drew grabbed the damning evidence by the laces, gripped it tight in his right hand, and tore off into the wall of pine trees and wild thickets to hide. Seven other terrified boys followed him and once they scurried deep enough in the dense forest, they fell to the ground, not making a sound. Three large rovers pulled up to the curb by the park; orange lights flashing with 5 NWP agents armed with stun sticks and DNA readers. “Red, quit breathing so heavy!” Drew whispered to the small red-headed boy huddled next to him. “I can’t help it, I don’t want to be exiled like my dad. Drew, I’m so scared!” Drew, with his index finger over his mouth, squinted. His eyes expressing the extreme danger of the moment. He whispered, “Hang on for a couple of minutes and I think we will be safe?” Across the park five agents searched for any sign of criminal activity. A bone skinny, mole faced man pointed to some depressions in the uncut grass, “See, I told you...Look here, I know these are cleat marks, I just know it!” The largest man in the group squatted down to look closely at the marks and replied, “Clay, those are at least two or three days old. We missed them again. Don't worry, we’ll catch ‘em soon enough.” The 5 agents headed back to their rovers, jumped in and sped off. “Whew, that was close!” Drew muttered to himself. “O.k. fellas, they still may be watching us from a distance. Let's wait here 15 more minutes, and then we will go home one at a time, each person take a different route. And whatever you do, hide all grass stains and don’t panic!” Drew, being the last to leave, lifted three large fallen branches and removed a steel gray box from a hole. He typed a four digit code on an L.E.D. pad which unlocked a switch and caused a spring to pop open the lid. Slowly, he placed a well-worn football into the steel safe, closed the lid, replaced the box in the hole and placed the branches back on top. As he slipped out of the woods, hands in pockets, head bowed low under a dark hoody, two eyes were watching. It's about time! You really weren't fooling anybody hiding in that closet. Yesterday, the political podcast "FiveThirtyEight", posted an article entitled "Way More Americans Might Be Atheist Than We Thought." The article suggests that the number of atheists are probably around 26% of American population. This number is way higher than the generally accepted 3% to 10% of people who publically claim they do not believe in God. Personally, I think the number is way higher than this - - I would guess it may even be around 50%. Apparently, according to the article, for many atheists the stakes are high when it comes to opening up about their unbelief. It states that "A 2016 PRRI survey found that more than one-third of atheists reported hiding their religious identity or beliefs from friends and family members out of concerns that they would disapprove." So PRRI designed a new way to collect data which revealed these new suprising results. I am not surprised at all. Atheists have always been hiding - - they are expert posers. Romans 1:18-21 would even say the majority of mankind are God deniers who "suppress truth." Atheism by definition is a person who "debelieves in the existence of God or gods." Scripture says, that this disbelief is a matter of the heart: "The fool says in his heart, there is no God." (Psalm 14:1) It is easy to hide what is in your heart, and athiests do it in a number of ways. The three main types of athiests who are posing as believers are as follows: (1) Practical Athiests: These are people who "honor God with their lips" but "their hearts are far from me." (Matthew 15:8) Who cares what you say if you never do what you say? Many people even come to church, sing songs, read the Bible, but don't really live like God exists. I have sat across couples in pre-marital counseling who agree with me, looking right in my face, that staying sexually pure before marriage is God's ultimate desire and will. But then they leave my office and something happens: An atheistic cloud descends upon thier heart, mind and hormones. Often I find out later that they slept together regularly. They didn't mean a word that they said when they were in my office. They tell me they agree with God, but for all practical purposes, they don't live like it. Jesus himself wonders in Luke 6:46, "Why do you call me Lord, Lord and do not do what I say?" I will bet, the people who fall in this catagory of Amercians are way more than 3%-10%? (2) Crisis Christians: These are people who run to God in the storm; but when the sun is shining, they run to the party and into the arms of all their strange lovers. In Proverbs 1:21-28 God describes the person who ignores his wisdom, advice and rebuke (Prov. 1:22-23) before disaster comes. And when it finally arrives God will not only ignore their cry (Prov. 1:28), but he will laugh at their calamity (Prov. 1:26). In recent history, after the 911 attacks, churches across America saw an immediate boom in attendance numbers - - but according to most research, attendance fell back to normal levels in fewer than 3 months. One writer commented on this saying "People see church more as an aspirin than a long term committment - - they run to it to alleviate immediate pain instead of worshipping a God that they believe actually exists." (3) The "Chreasters": You know what a "Chreaster is"? The person who goes to church at Christmas time and Easter. This person is motivated to attend church more out of a fear of mom and grandma than actually being compelled by a belief in God. I use to be a Chreaster. I loved going to midnight mass, wearing a tie, crying at the song 'Silent Night", but I didn't really care that God cried at my sin. These three groups combined compose a large percentage of the general population - - it is way more than 26%! Saying you believe in God means nothing if you don't live like it. Why else would Jesus say in Matthew 7:23, "I never knew you." This is God confirming their hidden atheism. I want to say one more thing about the atheist: Most of them don't even believe what they say they believe. It reminds me of what Michael Scott said on the "Office" if he actually was a homosexual, "Look, if I was gay, I would be the most flamboyant gay you have ever seen. I would be leading the parade covered in feathers, and just... I would be waving that rainbow flag." In other words, if you really believe something, you should really live it. Most outright atheists are just as guilty of hypocrisy as practical atheists are because they certainly don't live what they believe, If you are an atheist, you logically should affirm evolutionary randomness - - there is no designer, just dumb luck, and a big bang. You should be the biggest proponent of survival of the fitest, you should not care if people are racists, bigots, deviants, or creeps. Why do you care if strong males take advantage of weak females? You should laugh at the homosexual's illogical urges because they can't procreate on their own. You have absolutely no moral grounds to be outraged at date-rape, murder and genocide. All you should care about is pleasing yourself. The only good for a materialist (atheist) is pragmatic good, "Does it work for me? And if it does it is good." The moment you make a moral judgement of something being good or bad in it's actions and motives you are denying your own belief. When you talk about love, compassion, pity, mercy, justice, fairness and right and wrong you are stealing catagories from the Christian worldview. Lions never question if eating a baby elephant is cruel. The baby is vulnerable, and it tastes good, kill it! Atheism teaches humans are no different. If you are consistant to your worldview, than the priest who molests the child to meet his selfish needs is behaving just how you should expect him to - - a mere human animal has no moral reason to be honest and true. Your outrage is stolen from Christian virtue that comes from the existance of the Christian God - - an atheist can't claim them. The moment you cry "hypocrite" to the Christian who isn't acting Christian you are appealing to a standard you don't even believe exists. In conclusion, atheism may be growing, but it is a false atheism. It is not atheism at all. It has no real teeth, and in the end the voice of the atheist will be silenced. It won't matter how vociforciously it voiced it's folly while alive, no one will be there to listen when the body becomes dust and ashes. Who even listens to the voice of dirt anymore? No wonder you are hiding in a closet, you make no rational sense. I need to say something about silence. . .
I was driiving in my car to work and I heard on the radio from Wood 8 a story about "The Ride of Silence." Today in Kalamazoo 500 bicyclists are joining together to participate in an eight mile bike ride to bring awareness to biker safety and to honor those who died in bicycle accidents. So if you see people riding bikes silently today, well, you now know why. My question is why? What do they hope to accomplish by their silent riding? I don't get it? It sounds very "honorable" and "praise-worthy"; but if we look at it realistically, what is really going on? If you allow me to share my opinion, silent tributes sometimes are more for the bike rider than the car driver. It definately isn't for the dead. So what do the bike riders want me, the car driver, to know? It's obvious, "Look out, and don't hit me." Well I never hit a bike rider, in fact what car driver is purposely trying to hit people on a bike? And if your response is they are simply trying to wake up those who don't pay attention to bike riders, they are raising awareness. It still makes no sense. Can you imagine driving by a bike rider who is trying to raise awareness by practicing silence? While riding thier bike you shout, "Hey buddy, nice day for a bike ride isn't it?" Silence. "I said buddy, great day for a ride, right?" Nothing. "What is wrong with that guy? Maybe if I hit him with my car he might finally say something?" Or if I am a bike rider, what am I thinking? "Look at me, riding my bike, doing what I love to do to bring awareness to people who are dead. So I will ride silently. Aren't I a good person? I am making a statement." What statement? "Bike riders matter?" Who said they didn't? Or, I can ride a bike without talking? Hey, I can walk and chew gum at the same time. This is how I feel about alot of activists and silent movements. Often they are more for the person who is marching or bike riding than the person they are suppossedly trying to reach. Who are we trying to reach? The person who already hit a bike rider and is sitting in jail, or the average car driver? The average car driver rarely hits bike riders, it usually is the drunk driver who hits the bike rider. Why not have a movement of riding bikes against drunkenness? Well you can't, people don't like their sin pointed out, it hits too close to home. So they would probably hit you. It would be a lose-lose. But riding a bike silently offends no one, and it makes the bike rider feel good. Win -win! This reminds me of another silent movement: “Preach the Gospel at all times, and if necessary use words.” You will always need words because the gospel is meant to be spoken. This, again, is more for the person who doesn't want to share the gospel than the person who needs the gospel. Can you imagine the guy who is lost and he sees a Christian being kind and nice? Do you think he thinks that guy is nice because of the gospel? No, he doesn't even know the gospel. It is the last thing on his mind. But the kind and nice guy feels good about themselves because they just witnessed by not saying anything. Win-win. I get it, don't share the gospel if you are a jerk. But this is not where most Christians are today, most of us just will never share the gospel at all. Because we have been taught that being nice is enough. It's not. Paul says, "I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God unto salvation." Sometimes silence is a code word for shame. You need to talk. Daniel Boone was a man Yes, a big man With an eye like an eagle And as tall as a mountain was he Daniel Boone was a man Yes, a big man He was brave, he was fearless And as tough as a mighty oak tree From the coonskin cap on the top of ol' Dan To the heel of his rawhide shoe The rippin'-est, roarin'-est, fightin'-est man The frontier ever knew Daniel Boone was brave. His best friend, Mingo the Indian, was brave. They could fight bad Indians off and throw tomahawks.
I wanted to be brave too: I had my dad buy me a tomahawk so I could learn how to be brave. My mom even bought me a tomahawk necklace from the Avon catalogue so I could wear it around my neck as a constant reminder to be brave. Being brave to me meant “being a man,” “being true to your word,” “challenging the bad guy even if he was bigger than you.” I remember being down at the nearby creek with my neighbor looking for skipping stones, and out of the bushes came a slithering black snake. I had to be brave, so I smashed the snake with a heavy rock. A few years later I got a role in our school’s play where I had to sing, “Oh My Darling Clementine” to the prettiest girl in class. It was to be performed in front of the whole school and my parents. I didn't want to do it, so my mom told me to be brave. I swallowed hard, and I sang. Even Sister Joan of Ark, our stoic big-biceped nun, was surprised I had the courage to carry through. Fast forward 20 years later, my wife and I were asked to teach the Bible to Russian school teachers in the formerly communist, anti-God, Soviet Union. After much hesitation, prayer and anxiety, we finally agreed. I will never forget having to walk past two machine-gun toting guards at the Moscow airport wondering what I got my wife and myself into? Did I have what it takes to live in a foreign city for a whole year just being newly married? I was scared to death, especially after seeing one of our apartment neighbors stumbling home singing Bon Jovi’s “Living on a Prayer” while carrying a bottle of vodka in hand. I had to be brave. I needed to show my wife ‘no fear.’ God gave us grace, and we survived. I think after all these years, I am beginning to learn how to be brave after all. Even though I lost my tomahawk necklace, I think I am beginning to get it. As Mingo would say it, “Me, Brave!” But then I read an article last Thursday that changed everything. It was about a “BRAVE” woman named Sarah E. Canney, a “defeater of bulimia” and long-distance runner, posted an Instagram photo of a pair of folded jeans. The article talked about her unspoken goal of wanting “to fit back into the jeans after losing the baby weight from her second child. Canney eventually fit into them, but they were tight and uncomfortable.” She said, “Wearing the jeans brought up that negative voice in her head.I wore these ill-fitting jeans most of last year and every time I wore them insecurities and ultimatums, realizing You’re still bigger than you were after you had Jack.'” But bravely, she, “Took those jeans off and asked herself, ‘Sarah, what are you trying to prove?’” Finally, she got rid of them, writing in her post, “How many of us keep old clothes because we’ve affixed a value to size on the label? We ‘measure’ ourselves in so many ways. If our approach to ourselves is gracious, forgiving and kind, then our lives will be filled with grace, forgiveness and kindness...If you want to change the way you feel about your body or the food you eat or the clothes you wear, you have to rewrite the story you tell yourself. The best way to do that is to change the harsh, critical things we say to ourselves into positive affirmations.” This is the new picture of bravery. And I have learned something through her story -- bravery must now include “forgiving yourself, showing grace to yourself, and most of all, being kind to your poor, weak, ego.” I am beginning to rethink this bravery thing. Then I remembered a story I read about last month about a Canadian man who was married, with seven kids, and has left his family in order to fulfill his true identity - as a six-year-old girl. Stefonknee (pronounced ‘Stef-on-knee’) Wolscht, 52, of Toronto, says he / she realized she was transgender - rather than simply a cross-dresser - at age 46, and split from his / her wife, Maria, after she told her husband to “stop being trans or leave”. He “BRAVELY” made the decision by saying, “'I can’t deny I was married. I can’t deny I have children,' she says in the video. 'But I’ve moved forward now and I’ve gone back to being a child. I don’t want to be an adult right now.” So the definition of bravery is ever expanding for me, now it includes, “being willing to move forward in your life, even if you must ditch previous commitments, like your wife and family, because you don't want to be an adult.” Oh yeah, there is one more shining example of the new bravery: Elizabeth Gilbert. She is the best selling author and motivational speaker who is famous for her 2006 memoir “Eat, Love, Pray.” Included with her writings, she is known to travel with Oprah Winfrey and her entourage, which includes the creative speaker/pastor, Rob Bell, inspiring hundreds-of thousands of people on how to live a more fulfilled life. Elizabeth was first married to Michael Cooper, whom she met while working at the Coyote Ugly Saloon, but after being married a few years she realized, she needed courage to leave her marriage to travel, “Until I can feel as ecstatic about having a baby as I felt about going to New Zealand to search for a giant squid, I cannot have a baby.” Now that is Brave. So she bravely traveled the world: eating in Italy, praying in India, and having sex in Bali where she finally found the love her life. She married Jose Nunez in 2007. But Elizabeth decided to divorce him too because she found a new female partner, Rayya Elias. Even though Jose was “a great souvenir of her adventures and her source of finding inner-peace in Bali”, Gilbert says Rayya is her true new love. She became not just a friend but her life partner. Fashion magazines all over the country have fallen head over heels with her new choice of partner. Elizabeth’s choice has reached the new pinnacle of bravery - - leaving men for lesbian love. In her own words she writes, “Here's what it comes down to for me: I need to live my life in truth and transparency, even more than I need privacy, or good publicity, or prudence, or other people's approval or understanding, or just about anything else. Truth and transparency not only make my life more ethical, but also easier… Here is what I will ask for: Because I believe in love, I will ask for love.” Now that is Brave. So to sum up my new understanding of bravery, I realize three things:
I need to face the sad truth now...I will never be brave. (the first post on my new updated iOS blog format) For as long as I can remember - which is my whole sordid life - both avid and novice runners have been lying to my face: “After two weeks of running a couple miles, I guarantee ya, you’ll get use to it.” “The first mile is always the hardest, don’t worry, your body will find its groove.” “You will learn to love it.” Wrong, wrong and wrong. It’s been three weeks of getting back on the running track and I dread the mornings I have committed myself to run. It feels like being led to the guillotine. I can even make it to the second and third mile, but I wouldn’t call it a groove - - more like I am running in wet cement, wanting to cough up a lung, doing something that ought not be done. I hate it! It has been 50 years now trying to like it, and I am still not convinced. Why do people lie to me? Don’t they see I am short and stubby? It is like telling a bowling ball he will do just fine as a stand in for a soccer ball - - I’m heavy and I was made to knock things over, not frolic through fields of wildflowers. But people keep encouraging me, “Don’t give up, you can do it, just think about being in the beautiful outdoors, breathing in fresh air, it doesn’t get any better than that..” Yes it does - - a soft couch, a good book, and a warm cup of coffee comes to mind. So I run...hoping, someday, somehow, I will like it. In the meantime I trudge, grimacing all the way. Maybe if I was more positive? But I learned something - - today I screamed, red-faced and fist clenched, as I got ready to run: “I hate this! Ahhhhhhh. . .” I realized, I do better when I am honest to myself. If I admit it is hard and expect pain I can face it easier than if I am looking to pick daisies and buttercups along the way. I remember when my football coach told our team with the compassion of a drill sergeant, two-a-days were going to be hot, painful and difficult. I appreciated his honesty. Especially after the first practice when I lost my breakfast in the end-zone during 100 yard sprints. When I ran, and my gut hurt, I knew it was going to hurt, so I ran. I want to like running, but I can’t lie, I hate it. If I am expecting to like it and hate it I will want to quit, and of course, punch those in the gut who've been lying to me. “You’ll learn to love it!”, smiling their smug smiles, as they pass me wearing the perfect running suit, wearing the perfect running shoes. (Mine are Converse All-Stars) I huff and puff. But, if I expect to hate it, and I know that …
Someday I hope to like it, but now I don't. I won't lie to you. I also won't lie to you about prayer, daily devotions in scripture, being transparent before Jesus or humbling myself around those I want to punch in the gut - - sometimes it feels like death to do those things - - but I know they will actually save my life. I am not a Christian because it is fun, I am not a Christian because he gives me everything I want when I want it, I am not even a Christian because it brings me peace - - I won’t lie to you. I am a Christian because it is true. And even though Jesus promised difficulties in this life (see John 16:33) I know it will all be worth it someday, so I trudge in faith. At times I get in a wonderful groove, at times I am frolicking arm in arm with my Savior, but Tuesday afternoon at 3:00, I trudge - - I won't lie. Hebrews 12:2 said this about Jesus’ trudging, “Look to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame…” Many political words are similarly abused. The word Fascism has now no meaning except in so far as it signifies ‘something not desirable’. The words democracy, socialism, freedom, patriotic, realistic, justice have each of them several different meanings which cannot be reconciled with one another. In the case of a word like democracy, not only is there no agreed definition, but the attempt to make one is resisted from all sides. GEORGE ORWELL I was doing a review of my blog posts over the last three years and it is time to do some tweaking. They are long... Wordy... A bit too preachy… People don't read long arguments like they use to. I need to change, update my iOS. I have tried to post what I think you want to hear; but I am not sure - so I will write about what I would want to read. It will be weird, I am interested in weird. First subject tomorrow: why I hate to run. Tired of the blog fog. “For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things.” Philippians 3:18-19 NIV Sometimes shame is a very good thing! It is meant by God to be a cleansing agent for the soul. Shame is the awareness that I have made choices and decisions that have “marred” the image of God in my life. As I look back, one of the areas of my life where shame surfaces the most is when I believed the lie of what it means to be “manly” in America. I adopted a mindset and behavior that really was only a shameful cover to hide my Male Moral Rottenness (M.M.R.). I thought I was crazy, cool, and just being “one of the guys”; when in truth I was a mindless zombie, a fool, scum. Male Moral Rot is ruining many, many lives. If it wasn’t for the saving mercy of God, M.M.R. would have killed me. But God in his kindness woke me up to it at the age of 23 and allowed the conviction of the Holy Spirit and his medicinal power of shame to cure me. What is “Male Moral Rot?” Paul the Apostle describes it best where he says “when people glory in their shame.” Shame is intended to break us, shock us, humble us...but moral rot occurs when instead we “glory” in garbage. It is when we boast and brag about how perverse we are; when ugliness and filth in our life is relished and valued. Let me give you the A-B-C-D’s of Male Moral Rot: A is for “Exhibit A” (beginning illustration): The Timothy Piazza Tragedy This past February, Penn State’s Beta Theta Pi’s fraternity called one of their nights of hazing, “The Gauntlet.” College students who were desperate to join the fraternity participated in a drinking game where they would run from station to station drinking more and more glasses of alcohol. At one station the students were compelled to drink four to five alcoholic drinks in a two minute span. After the festivities were over, Timothy Piazza fell down a flight of stairs in a drunken stupor, and 12 hours later was declared dead after 9-1-1 was alerted. His fraternity brothers said, “they never intended things to get so out of hand.” They were just having a night of fun never meaning to hurt anyone. Initially his death was ruled an “accident”, but after reports were made public in court the judge determined the death was "the direct result of encouraged reckless conduct." Criminal charges were announced Friday, which included 50 counts of hazing and reckless endangerment, stemming from hazing activities that date to spring 2016. Some of the abuse he experienced that night was:
But it was all in good fun, right? Every drinking party at college frats are. Nothing is intended to go wrong. But it did, and it is the direct result of young men “glorying in shame.” This is M.M.R., and I know it firsthand. Timothy’s father summed up the tragedy this way, “In August, we dropped off our two sons here at Penn State University to further their collegiate experience. Today, we're only going to be bringing one of them home, due to a senseless and very preventable tragedy that ... caused us to bury our son three months ago." The attorney for the family said, “Penn State frat's 'grotesque actions' were 'beyond human decency,'” This is M.M.R. Why does it keep happening, and is there any hope for young men to change? I hate to say it...this type of foolish - the world is my playground, “cast caution to the wind” - type of behavior has always been the case. And it will keep going on until “godly shame” is reintroduced in homes, schools and churches. But America loves glorying in it’s shame because… B is for Wanting to Belong (our need for community): In one article on the Timothy Piazza case, a reporter compared college fraternities to “gangs for rich white kids.” There is truth in that: All young males, white - black - brown - yellow, have a desperate need to belong. From inner-city gangs, to high school sports teams to youth groups. And if there is no respected supervision for each of these groups, “Lord of the Flies” becomes the way of the group. As Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote, nature left to itself is “Red in tooth and claw.” I experienced this firsthand: At college I was far away from home, I wanted to belong, so I joined in. It is easy to stand back and wonder why young men don't resist, or fail to become the strong independent warrior who thumbs his nose at the mob...but without strong and well-thought-out convictions, most men are sitting ducks to the mob’s power. Left to tribal influences, and a desire to be accepted, it is virtually impossible to resist in the heat of the moment. (And ladies, you are just as prone to the mind of majority rule too). M.M.R. exists, because we all want to belong. Parents, listen up: If you never make your home a welcome place, your child will find another. And that is why it is imperative for the church to offer an outlet for belonging without losing your soul. Because… C is for the Cultural Current (the emotional undertow that is almost impossible to resist): Outrage concerning the death of this student is appropriate, but for most regular people that are outraged, it is also extremely hypocritical. Why are we shocked when “someone gets hurt” by M.M.R? Do we not realize our culture celebrates and artistically promotes this very attitude of unrestrained hedonism in vivid color every day on media outlets across American airways? When I was in High School, listening to most conversations between my male friends was nothing more than their quoting of movie lines from silly, wicked and juvenile movies like “Scarface”, “Cheech and Chong’s: Up In Smoke”, “Caddy Shack” and “Porky’s.” Each one of those movies are clear illustrations of M.M.R., and most of the parents of my friends watched those movies right along with thier kids, laughing all the way! What you laugh at exposes so much more about what you really believe than what you teach. A case in point: I was listening to two adult male hosts on the radio show “Mike and Mike” just last week when they give their answers to this question, “What are the funniest movies of all time.” Mike Golic, a 50 year old regular dad with grown up kids, said, “‘The Hangover’, ‘Animal House’, ‘Old School’, and ‘Eddie Murphy’s Raw.’” You want to talk about the celebration of debauchery! They are laughing at the very same thing that got that Timothy Piazza kid killed. Those are four movies that celebrate and exalt in shame. So while news outlets bemoan the “entitled mentality of white fraternities” they keep pumping out movies that promote this same perverse praise for M.M.R. And it affects us more than we give it credit for. Naturally, some of the women reading this will rage against how “the rape culture” needs to be stopped in our country -- how men are solely to blame for this epidemic. But these same ladies also statistically watch and equally enjoy the same rotten movies, laughing just as loud and encouraging debauchery just as strongly. I have listed the IMBD user ratings for two movies that promote M.M.R.: “The Hangover” and “50 Shades of Grey”, the horrible sadomasochistic movie that promotes soft-porn for women. If you notice, there is no difference between the favorability ratings between men and women on “The Hangover” and women are more approving of “50 Shades of Grey” than men. So it seems women have plunged down in the M.M.R. pit as well. Feminism has hit a new low in our country where women too want to indulge in their own version of M.M.R. The raunchy comedians Amy Schumer and Lena Dunham, are just as vile and perverse as any college frat boy. That brings us to…
D is for the Depravity of Man (theological problem for everyone): There is only one way to fix this problem of M.M.R.; we need to acknowledge all men and women outside of Christ are “Totally Depraved.” Ephesians 2:1-3 says it like this: “And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.” Men and women alike are born dead, unable to resist their passions and wicked desires. For some reason we think we are smart enough to manage it outside of the power of Christ...why? We want to devise stronger laws against “hate groups”, “rape culture”, “underage drinking”, “religious intolerance”, “domestic violence”, and “gun violence”. Are all these problems the product of male testosterone or sin in the heart of man? If we don't correctly diagnose the real disease we will never find a cure. M.M.R. Is a symptom, in fact it has been around for thousands of years. Look at Isaiah 56:10-12… “Israel’s watchmen are blind, they all lack knowledge; they are all mute dogs, they cannot bark; they lie around and dream, they love to sleep. They are dogs with mighty appetites; they never have enough. They are shepherds who lack understanding; they all turn to their own way, they seek their own gain. “Come,” each one cries, “let me get wine! Let us drink our fill of beer! And tomorrow will be like today, or even far better.”” See, men have always loved to lie around and drink, M.M.R. has always been a major human problem. There is only one real answer, one cure, one hope: Turn to Jesus. If a person does not turn to him, sure they can have fun, and this life can be all fun and games, until, well...the bible calls it the "Great White Throne Judgement Seat." (Revelations 20:11-15). If you end up there, I gaurantee you, it is not fun. Please, oh cool, wild, foolish man; consider this warning before your fun runs out. Gotcha! One mention of an internet sensation and you had to sneak a peak. What is it with us? We have a terrible habit of needing to be current. News that is two days old is no longer relevant, we want only the "Breaking News!" We are slaves to "What's happening now?" We have to be up on all the fashions, songs, shows and movies. Social media's heartbeat pumps out moment by moment events, instant experiences and immediate thoughts. Memories are now kept digitally, and they must include every insignificant moment of the day: "Look! My dog peed in the woods, my child picked up a penny off the ground, a stick fell off a near-bye tree." And for some mysterious reason that is woven in the fabric of eternity, I need to let the world know every intimate, embarrassing, and mundane detail. I just know my friends are hanging on my every post!! Wait three months and that $12 movie can be rented for a dollar. But it's too old by then. We don't want to be left out. We need to do something and go somewhere for spring break because everyone is doing something and going somewhere on spring break. God forbid if we should be left out! Are you eating Kale? Drinking the new Perrin Ale? Taking advantage of the advertised Mejier's sale? You're not? Everyone else is! Is your son joining the team? Is your wife cooking lean? Have you bought the new whitener so your teeth will gleam? Why not? Everyone else has? It's always been like that this. If you want to be accepted, you need to keep up. Why else would the Kardashians be famous? Thier product is selling "in your face immediacy" while we all become "idiots" for watching them. In 1 Samuel 8 Israel wanted to ditch God and throw out the prophets because, "there shall be a king over us, that we also may be like all the nations." Every mom has said it, "If your friends jump off a cliff does that mean you have to too?" "If the other nations have a king do you have to too?" "If your roommate has his girlfriend sleep over do you have to too?" "If everyone is becoming a beer connoisseur do you have to too?" "If everyone is using the 'f' word do you have to too?" "If everyone is detoxing, running, selling, wearing yoga pants, do you have to too?" "If Johnny talks with a lisp and likes to wear dresses do you have to too?" It all depends how you answer this one simple question: "Do I seek to please men or God? If I were still trying to please men I would not be a servant of Christ!" ( Galatians 1:10) |
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