“And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me He’d grown up just like me -- My boy was just like me!” Harry Chapin This sappy, sad, and terribly morbid song makes me cry every time I hear it. Big salty crocodile tears. It’s cruel. Especially when it flashes across your mind as you send your oldest son off to his last year in High School.
How did this happen? Harry Chapin’s ode to fatherhood has two harrowing themes: (1) the unrelenting swiftness of time, and (2) the bitter regret of moments lost. While both of these realities for fathers and sons are true, one can actually be avoided. It is impossible to slow Father Time down - you blink and your 5 year old is 18. The baby faced boy you once had to carry up the stairs is now shaving. Time cannot be stopped. Now regret, on the other hand, while it may seem inevitable, does not have to be so - - if you are intentional in your relationship with your son, you can stop it’s sting. Thinking back on our 18 years together, I have learned a few things about being the father of Joseph Weeks that has allowed me to be more “present” in his life. I call these four principles the “regret stoppers”:
Toward the end of the song “Cats in the Cradle” Harry Chaplin sings the haunting line, “I don’t know when, But we’ll get together then, you know we'll have a good time then.” The beauty of having no regret is you never have to sing that line. Joseph and I "know when then was" and boy did we have some good times! But I do have one regret. Learning the lines to that stupid song, once they come in they never leave! Arrrggggg..............................
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