Teardrops rolling down on my face
Trying to forget my feelings of love...
Feeling, woo-o-o feeling
Woo-o-o, feel you again in my arms
"Would you rather have someone love you out of obligation or desire?"
Easy, right? DESIRE!
I want someone to be with me, not because they have to, but because they want to. I want the ... FEELINGS.
What happens when the feelings go? What happens when that person you want gains a few pounds, or develops a few wrinkles? What happens if someone has a debilitating disease or is involved in an accident where they can no longer walk? Goodbye, feelings...woo-o-o feelings!
So are you saying you want me to not have feelings?
No, what I am saying is that we should not base decisions on the sparkle instead of the substance. True love, biblical love, is born in the will. I make promises to someone based on my convictions about God and the character of the person I want to commit myself to. If love is real feelings will NATURALLY come, but they are never the sum and substance of my commitment to the other.
What makes gold gold? The yellow shine or the chemical makeup of the substance (Gold="Au" has an atomic number of 79 for all you chemistry geeks out there)? There is such a thing as fools gold, the technical name for it is pyrite. It has a harder surface than real stuff; but boy does it shine! Isn't the shine all that matters?
Not when it comes to love and marriage. True case in point: I will call him Sebastian (not his real name to protect his identity.) Sebastian was an extremely successful young lawyer. In college he was quite the catch, and subsequently he had his pick of women so he married a beautiful blond knock-out. They were happy, they were rich, and above all they were good looking.
One day, Sebastian went snow mobile riding with some friends...they were caught in a blizzard...Sebastian's snow mobile hit a parked car going over 40 mph...he went flying over the car...his neck landed on a fence...he severed his spinal column...he no longer could walk and his speech was slurred.
How long do you think his marriage lasted after that? 6 months. Fools Gold.
We are being ruled and ruined by fools gold these days. Feelings are not just destroying marriages but they are decimating morals across the social spectrum. Did you see the latest Time magazine article, "Orange is the New Black"? It is all about transgender people's rights to choose their identity. Gender is no longer decided by genitalia, but by desire, individual wants, a.k.a. feelings. It's fools gold!
Most public policy these days is a matter of feeling, "How do we spin this so the American populace will buy into it? Ahh, people want free stuff, it makes them feel good...and why not promise it? I will get re-elected!" And so goes your Congressman, Senator and President.
Most personal debt is incurred from feeling. "Daddy, I don't care how, I want it now!"
Over the past decade, two books in particular have driven me crazy because they have sold boatloads of money on "Fools Gold": "Eat, Pray, Love" and "50 Shades of Gray." People actually swoon over this trash. I will never read 50 shades of "porn"; but I did read "Eat, Pray, Love." I mention this because Elizabeth Gilbert's "wonderful & liberating" adventure begins when she leaves her husband simply because she hates FEELING "stuck". One review of this book hits this whole subject of "feelings" nail right on the head:
Perhaps this book is a sobering commentary on American life in general — if one has no moral scruples our system can work very much to one’s advantage (provided IQ is above a certain threshold). In fact, it seems at times, despite the frequent admonitions against “legislating morality,” that morality itself has been legislated out of existence, especially where family law is concerned. Our law and popular culture have become so relativist that the concepts of right and wrong have been reduced to whether an act causes a pleasurable physical sensation or sense of satisfaction at any particular moment.
Elizabeth Gilbert's husband Michael thought his marriage with her was rock solid. When it suddenly crumbled, his life was set adrift. It took him years of painful struggle after the divorce to finally recover.
You see, "feeling' can become a vicious tyrant when it gets you "to want to have things now." It never cares about who it hurts now, or the long term damaging effects it creates later. God has designed life to operate a certain way, everything is meant to take place in its proper time. Feeling doesn't care.
And tragically, "Fools Gold Feelings" often will have us throw a wrench in God's whole process of "working all things together for good," so we can have pleasure for a moment.
I wonder sometimes, do you think there may be someone else working on our feelings? Someone with a red suit and horns?
Nahhh no one like that exists. The devil is a fantasy. Isn't he?