For God did not give us a spirit of fear. He gave us a spirit of power and of love and of a good mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 This past Sunday I thought I was sharing a rather innocuous illustration from the pulpit; little did I realize that I lit a spark that started a firestorm on-line. The subject was about homeschooling. Ironically, two days before this discussion a person asked me for my opinion about the differences between Public, Private and Homeschooling. And now, after reading the heated debate over my sermon, I thought it might be a good time to post a paper I put together years ago for parents in my youth group. The choice of where to send a Christian child to school was a subject I had to deal with often because parents wanted to know where I stood as their child's youth pastor? They wanted to know if I would support the decisions they made concerning their kids, and they were not sure they could trust me. So believe me, I know just how hot and volatile of a subject this is ... and I also have four kids in school. So I am on this journey as well. Some parents, however, don't see this topic as that big of a deal; while other parents see it as the most important decision they ever had to make concerning their children. So I enter with extreme care, I know that many parents have spent years praying about how to raise their kids, and who they will entrust them to. Some very strong convictions have been formed. And sadly, this discussion has a nasty way of spiraling down into a competition between families and friends, We secretly love comparing our kids with one another. Lets stop that nonsense now! I just want to get you to think. Keep your mind on your own children and what God would have you to do with their education. It is my firm conviction that no matter what choice you make, Public - Private - Home, you as the parent are the single most important influence on your child's life. I believe that if you are a loving and vigilant parent, you will have no problem navigating your child through each arena of education with joy and success. I think we often give too much power to a system or an ideal, and not enough to the parental bond that was designed by God. I also want to stop allowing fear to rule our decisions. Some parents make choices by believing wacky conspiracy theories (ie: John Dewey, the architect of our public schools, wanted to demonically brainwash our children through the department of education) or projecting their childhood hurts and personal hang-ups on their children. We have been given a sound mind by God to think through what is the best choice for our children, and not be controlled by superstition. So to help you, I have put together a chart that outlines what I believe are some possible weaknesses in each system that you have prepare your child for. They are generalizations, basic ideas to help you work through. And I hope it will give you some different categories to consider as you pray through your child's educational future. If you notice I have compared each educational arena by categories. Each word describes different negative tendencies that can adversely affect your child. If your child already is struggling in a certain area, it may be wise to make sure the system you choose doesn't increase the negative tendency your child currently struggles with. Follow along and it will start making sense.
EACH SYSTEM'S EFFECT ON THE INDIVIDUAL AS A CHRISTIAN Public School: Worldly Influences ----- The worldly tendency of the public school system is the most obvious and talked about problem for the Christian student to face. This system is built on a materialistic worldview. That means evolution, religious tolerance and political correctness will be pushed, and to think your child will not be taught these views by their teacher is simply ignoring the stark reality of the moral decay that is happening all around us. To not prepare your student for this is irresponsible. But I must also add, your ability and influence as a parent to speak into your child's life through each stage of development is more important and potent than you think. Private School: Reality of Hypocrisy ----- Most private schools have the word "Christian" on the outside of the building but that doesn't necessarily mean that people are acting like Christians on the inside. There often is an assumption that a person going to a Christian school has Christ in their life; it is easy to assume that the rest of the students in the school are all on the same page, and that they all think about God the same way. This simply isn't true. An authentic walk with Christ requires a change in the heart, not merely having your name put down on a classroom roll. Homeschool: Assumed Piety ----- It is quite a sacrifice to home-school your children, Not only are you taking on the daily responsibilities of teaching curriculum and grading papers; but the decision to turn your home into a school-house runs counter-cultural to most of your friends and family. Often, you and your kids may see yourselves as a special group of people that God has uniquely set apart. Feeling like you are an 'alien' in a strange land can present to your children a false sense of piety - - believing they are more sold out for Jesus than the average Christian, when in fact they are just going to school. EACH SYSTEM'S EFFECT ON THE INDIVIDUAL EMOTIONALLY Public School: Insecurity ----- Public school can be a rough place to grow up, it is both highly competitive and seductive. If your kid is not prepared or spiritually strong, the public arena will cause them to ask a lot of questions about their individual self: "Am I accepted, am I cool, and am I able?" If your child is a follower, the popular groups who adopt the popular trends can often carry great influence on a child's heart. Worth often is determined by winning: At sports, studies and social groups - - if you are not on the top, you can easily feel alone and worthless. Parents of public school children need to take the time to build security, belonging and acceptance in the heart of the child, or the school just might eat them alive. Private School: Superiority ----- This is another very difficult arena to grow up in. The same temptations and desire to fit in is still there; but students in the private school can tend to think that since it is a Christian place these influences are not as bad as the public school kids around them. In fact, the irony about private school, is that the pressures of competition and fitting in may actually be much worse than you could ever imagine. When your child thinks they are attending a place that is on spiritually higher ground it breeds pride, and as a result many students are inoculated from thinking they need to change. Wearing a uniform or having classes on theology does not mean you actually are closer to Jesus than the average Joe. Homeschool: Naivete' ----- When you are the only one in your grade, you have no basis to compare, no one to push you or challenge you, and this can give you a very skewed view of yourself and where you fit in the world. It is hard to see yourself rightly. Some parents will only encourage and compliment thinking any negativity is harmful, when the truth is, children need to know when they fail or when they are not talented. Sometimes the loose schedule in some homes and constant personal attention can build false expectations about the world that awaits them outside the home. The world is not kind, and if your children are not prepared for that it can cripple them. EACH SYSTEM'S EFFECT ON THE INDIVIDUAL'S VIEW OF THE NON-CHRISTIAN Public School: Sympathy ----- When your child grows up with a group of friends that are not Christian, after awhile it is easy for them to adopt their same worldview and values. As a public school parent it is easy to fall in-line with the system and doing all you can to have your child be accepted and win. Sports and activities can start taking control of your agenda and over time the need to tell others of the gospel is easily silenced by busyness of school. Also, to the average on-looker, many times it can seem like the non-Christian group at school has more godly qualities of acceptance and kindness than the Christian group. So why would the gospel be attractive when the Christians aren't? Private School: Apathy ----- When the Bible becomes a textbook something is lost. The need to have your theology right for a test can skew the purpose of why it was given - - to have a genuine concern for a lost world. Christian schools have to be careful about having their students becoming head-smart without becoming heart-broken. And if some of the kids are not Christians themselves, they will start seeing the Bible only as another class and never feel the need to have Jesus everyday in their lives. Homeschool: Anxiety ----- Are all non-Christians smoking, drinking, having sex and wanting the one world order? Of course not, but some homeschooled kids think so. When you communicate that one of your purposes is to shelter your children from an evil world, they may start believing the world is more dangerous than it actually is. Evil is not overt, it is subtle; it lurks in the heart of everyone, even the homeschooler. But when some parents talk about evil, they tend to focus on the overt acts like drugs and drinking and don't talk about real darkness like selfishness and conceit. If this is how your child views the world then when they meet a non-Christian they tend to see more darkness in the heart instead of the same that your own child carries around. Small things like other kids swearing and watching R-rated movies can strike major fear in a homeschooler's heart, when it may be nothing more than bluster and insecurity. The same insecurity you must deal with in your own child's heart. Hopefully this will give you something to think about. It is not intended to condemn but to raise concern. Ask yourself: Are your children flourishing where they are at? Do you need to put them in a place that challenges them? And the most important question of all: Why did God give you children? To stay safe or to be sent?
5 Comments
Concerned perisioner
8/27/2015 07:01:58 am
I personally think preachers should stay away from the subject all together when preaching. Biblically there is no need for the church to favor one option over the other. People feel very passionately about the choices they make when educating their children and what is good for one family may not be for another. They need to do their own research. I feel you made grave errors in some of your generalizations of all three choices. These 'negative tendencies' would have been better presented as ' possible challenges' and you totally omitted the positives. I think your article does more harm than good and can only confuse parents struggling with their education choices.
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Chris
8/28/2015 12:13:38 am
Dear Concerned Parishioner,
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Darin Niemi
8/27/2015 11:47:11 am
The choices made regarding the education of our children are of utmost importance to the Church. These choices can do a great deal of harm to a local body over an extended period or can have an extremely positive impact on a community.
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Chris K
8/27/2015 11:47:06 pm
I am pretty sure the intent of this article is not to give an endorsement or condemnation of any one option. The great thing about living in this country is that we have options. We are not (yet) forced in one direction or another. These options are also what can cause uncertainty, dismay, and make the decisions on how to educate our children difficult. At the end of the day, no matter what we choose, God is using it to shape individuals in unique ways to ultimately be used for His glory. "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9 ESV)
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Darin
8/27/2017 01:23:55 pm
Still good material.
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