“Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” Luke 10:40 This Sunday, I am taking a flight into the danger zone. I will be preaching on Luke 10:38-42 and it is not going to be pretty. It is the story of Mary and Martha. Or as I am entitling it, "Walking On Egg Shells." As I was meditating on this passage I kept wondering: Why are some women both so demanding and easily offended at the same time? For this specific group of women, Martha is their patron saint. She is a woman who wants things her way and she even scolds Jesus to get it done her way. I find this story fascinating because it is so true to life today: There are some people in the world that believe they have been given the sacred right to tell other people what to do. We call a person like this a "Control Freak" and they can be either a male or female. Often the male control freak uses aggression to get his way in the form of anger, intimidation or mockery. Women are more passive-aggressive in their threatenings; like holding a grudge or shedding tears. In both cases, a control freak will use any means they can to get you to do what they want you to do. What happens if you don't do what they want you to do? You know how the old bromide goes: "If mamma aint happy, aint nobody happy." Political Correctness is the national form of passive-aggressive control. If you don't think, vote or act the way a certain political party wants you too, they will label you as a hater, intolerant, and dangerous. The political control freak feels it is their duty to point out your racism and sexism, they want to silence you with a look of contempt and snug sophistication - - they are above you! Domestic control is much more insidious. Conversations in the home must follow the course of the controller or they will either blow up, or leave the room in a huff having a pity party for themselves. The way you can tell a controller is that everything always has to be about them, or influenced by their opinion. They somehow feel they have the right to decide who is lazy, who is wrong and who is disrespectful. Why do some people feel they have the right to always be in control? The problem with the controller is trying to get them to see themselves as a controller. It is next to impossible because they hear your disagreement as a violation of what is right rather than a valid opinion. If you are a controller, your pride blinds you to your pride. Here is how you can tell if you are a controlling person: (1) You do most of the talking. (2) People rarely share their opinions or emotions with you because they don't want you to tell them how to feel or think. (3) People don't like to be around you when they are having fun because they don't want you telling them how to have fun, or get upset at their fun. (4) You are easily distracted with the way things should be. You are a very discontented person because once you accomplish something you have to be onto the next something. (5) You see a good Christian as someone who does things for God, rather than a person who dwells with God. (6) You judge people by your expectations and not scripture. And when you read Luke 10:38-42 you actually think Jesus was wrong in that story. Martha was rebuked by Jesus. We need to take this rebuke very seriously. She wanted to serve Jesus, but it had to be in her way. If she had things her way she would have stopped Mary from enjoying God. God does not want the controller controlling how others meet with him. In fact, it makes him quite mad when they try to steal other people's joy! So, while you may think you are only doing things your way because you want to be pleasing to God, and in your doing you are making everyone else miserable, God is not pleased. So while you think you are pleasing you are actually a detriment to the Spirit of God from actively working. So if you are wondering if you are a control freak ask yourself two questions: 1. Why do you think you have the right to always tell others what is right? 2. What would happen if people didn't do things the way you think they should? Will the world stop turning? Oh yeah, and the way to tell if you are a female control freak, you got mad at my comment when I asked, "Why are some women so demanding?" Controlling women don't like men pointing out that some women are controlling. Whereas, non-controlling women think it is funny when men have the guts to tell the truth. Which one are you?
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