A shapka is a big furry hat, a Siberian special. My good friend Derek found one for me at a local yard sale and instantly he thought of me. You see, he knows me well, and he knew I would love it... > I spent a year in Stavropol, Russia with my wife teaching the bible to Russian school teachers, and ever since, the Russian penchant for somber reflection has soaked into my soul. > I like to feel the blue waves of melancholy from time to time. Seriously, there is nothing better than to think about eternal seriousness and reality's brokenness over a warm cup of coffee. A book by Dostoevsky & soft snow tumbling out of the sky has a way of centering you on things that matter. (I also read "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich" from time to time.) I am not a pessimist nor a masochist. I am a person that is trying to be honest in a world poisoned by the pride of man. Humility is on hiatus as America is awash in vanity. And maybe, just maybe, hearing words from an ugly unpolished man like me, who reads depressing books for fun; may help you stop falling in love with yourself. Jesus is wonderful, he really is, but we won't stop looking at ourselves long enough to gaze upon His beauty. This blog has two objectives, and I will try as much as possible to keep to them: (1) To point out our vanity. We need to stop taking ourselves so seriously. Ironically, we all have become like a modern day Narcissus. While he looked into a pond and fell in love with his reflection, we are looking into mirrors, Iphones and Facebook pages to see just how wonderful we are. (2) To point to His beauty. Jesus, yes Jesus, is to be our joy. And I will try in simple ways, to bring out his importance in a world bloated on image.
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My wife thinks I have an obsession with Hitler...and...I sort of do. (This is part of my dark side.) I don't want to be like him, I'm just confused with how a total buffoon could buffalo the whole world? A wimpy homeless charlatan became the "Supreme Ruler", der Fuehrer; think about that? So, I have been on a search to find out how? After reading boatloads of books and watching countless grainy WW2 documentaries on TV, I think I found an answer:
a chocolate bar. Yes, that's right, a chocolate bar. "Chris, you're nuts?" No I'm not, you must hear me out. In the book "The Mascot" by Mark Kuzem, I read about how a small Latvian boy, dressed in a cute soldier's uniform, would stand by the door of a cattle train offering chocolate bars to Jewish families to get them to jump in. The boy testified to his dark deed, "I was told I should make sure to give every person a big smile as I presented their chocolate. It seemed my job was to pacify them before their journey, especially the children, who loved chocolates." "So that's what I did - on and on throughout the afternoon. My jaw ached from smiling." And so the people willingly boarded the train, believing all would be alright because nothing could be more innocent than a boy offering a chocolate bar. What could be so bad? "Next stop: the slaughter house!" All it took was a lie, a piece of chocolate and a smile. That's how the Austrian Corporal did it, through sweet lies. A new book that has come out asks the same question, "How do you kill 11 million people?" Answer: You lie to them...with sugar added. The power of this kind of lie is that it hides the hideous consequences and pacifies outrage simply by applying a sugar coating. When a lie is sweetened with an immediate reward, people will bite, not even caring that they may have just sealed their fate. Sin wins when the immediate rewards of a lie seem better than the long-term promises of truth. Have you ever tried to take away someone's chocolate? Have you ever tried to take candy from a baby? Oh yeah, we are told it is easy, that is until the baby's mother slaps you across the face and sharply scolds you for bringing untold emotional pain upon her innocent child! You become "the bad guy" when you don't let people have the chocolate. So for most of us, instead of being called a trouble maker, we give in and let others bite into the lie. * "You see that blob on the ultra-sound machine, it is a fetus. Go ahead and remove it and you can have your life back with a simple five minute procedure. See how easy it is?" ("But wait," says the mean ole' Christian, "It's a lie, you are killing a baby.") "No, a fetus is only human tissue. Don't ruin that young woman's dreams. Don't enslave her. You are waging war on an innocent woman!" In other words, don't take away her chocolate bar. Shut up and give up... * "The man says he loves you, so give in and give him your body." ("But wait," says the puritanical bible believer, "It's a lie, true love does what is best for the other. True love respects the words of God and his plan for marriage.") "No, enjoy your freedom now. Don't wait and ruin a healthy part of every new relationship. Please the man and you will please yourself." In other words, don't take away his chocolate bar. Shut up and give in... * "Eat this, buy this, & use credit...it's too good to wait. And you deserve it now!" ("Have you seen the interest rate?" says the stingy old father, "it will put you in slavery to the debtor.") "But it is fun, don't take away my fun. And plus, everyone else is doing it. C'mon daddy, don't rain on my parade!" In other words, don't take away our chocolate. Shut up and give out... Lies, lies, lies - - and the hits keep on rolling, from every institution across our land. Politicians love sweet lies, "you can keep your doctor." ("No you can't," says the doom-saying conservative fool). Just laugh at him...mock...& ridicule. That will shut them up. Pastor's love sweet lies, "you can have your best life now." ("But what about self-control?" Says the fuddy-duddy small church pastor). Just ignore...sing loud with hands raised...& cry. Hollywood loves sweet lies, "You can't expect someone to stay married to one person their whole life?" Silence...silence.. silence...because the church has given up, in and out on that one! The story is sad but true: the holocaust wasn't hidden. People in Germany knew, there were 20,000 concentration camps across Europe, and there were 6 large exclusive extermination camps where mass slaughter of Jews took place. People had to know! One of the most shameful stories related to the people's silence was an incident when a church sang louder. One German church knew that the train that came by during service was loaded with Jews being transported out of the country. They saw the yellow star of David. They witnessed the seizure of property by the Storm Troopers and SS men. They knew. So instead of stopping the slaughter, they sang louder. Yes, when you sing loud you can't hear. You can't hear the screams, moans and cries for help. We turn on the TV; make it louder, the movie needs to be louder, turn the ipod louder. As Mary Poppins says, "A spoon-full of sugar helps the medicine go down..." Wait, no that's not right, it goes like this, "A spoon-full of sugar let's the lie do down, the lie go down...in the most DELIGHTFUL way!" (ON ASSIGNMENT: this is a follow-up to a request concerning my previous post) You've seen him - - that guy - - the one over there mocking. To him, everything is a joke, nothing matters, every-one is lame. It is this guy that girls love to hate; it is this guy girls like to date. Strange, but true. He is edgy, dangerous, disengaged, a real jerk...but just like the laughing-girl, he defines what is popular. I don't really have a title or term for this guy, he comes in many shapes and sizes: he is the cocky-jock on the football team, he is the misunderstood burn-out smoking behind the school, he may even be the sarcastic clown in the local youth group. But one thing is for sure: He is a jackass and people let him get away with it. With what metaphor do I describe him? How does he differ from the kind of man I want my sons to become? It really is true (even if people try to argue this fact), men are different than women. They are driven by different values and desires. So after thinking about it, the metaphor to describe young men has to be of a different kind - - the label of "annual flower" or "perennial flower"just doesn't fit. Men are more akin to brute beasts and smelly animals. (Flowers have a nice fragrance to them; face it, boys & young men just don't!) And being a male myself, I have personally wrestled with the inner-turmoil of identity: "Who am I to admire?" "Who am I to become?" Generally speaking: when it comes to the animal world, I think there are three possibilities: SHARKS (Especially the Great White): The option to be a shark is every red-blooded male's natural choice. "Sharks are cool, sharks are terrifying, sharks do whatever they want." This desire to be "terrifying & independent", someone not to mess with, is in the heart of every male...trust me on this. Have you ever watched the movie "Jaws" with a young teen, instead of seeing this story as a thriller, the boys I know tend to view it as a comedy! That is why they always laugh at one of my favorite stupid jokes, "How do you know the lady that was eaten on 'Jaws' had dandruff?... They found her head & shoulders on the beach." Some men will do anything for a laugh! However, as a father, a shark is the last thing I want my boys to emulate. Here are some of the facts concerning a shark's pattern of behavior; which I believe also describes the "jerks" I have rubbed shoulders with on my football teams and fraternity parties: -The social network of the shark is still a big mystery, traditionally they are known to be mavericks and loners, often avoiding groups, they like to be left-alone. - There are places where sharks do group together, usually it is an area where there is warmer water which provides an abundant food source. When they are together the larger and more aggressive sharks dominate the smaller newcomers to the group; and in order to show their strength, they give warning bites to keep the weaker sharks submissive. - When sharks are content, they tend to live sedentary, benthic (bottom feeding) lives. When the food source is gone, they migrate always looking for the next place to feed, always hungry, extremely greedy. I know men like this, in fact I know a lot of men like this. It is this species that often ruins it for the rest of us. To all women out there, please don't lump all men in the shark category! Somehow, women who have been hurt by sharks, think all males are jerks. But there are other options out there... DOLPHINS: Not many men aspire to be like a dolphin; at first glance they seem cute, soft and wimpy - - why would any young man want to be like a dolphin? As a parent, my job is to educate and illuminate truth for my kids: everything of value and virtue in this world needs to be discovered. The more they learn, they will begin to realize just how incredible the good things really are. Sharks may seem cool, but after you overcome your ignorant first impressions, you will see that dolphins are amazing. Here are a few facts: - Dolphins are highly social animals, living in pods of up to a dozen individuals. One super-pod was found to have up to 1,000 dolphins living in community. A dolphin pod has clear communication with one another, they work together to fend off predators (mainly sharks), and they will even care for injured individual dolphins - - often helping them to breathe by bringing them to the surface. In fact, dolphins are known to form long-lasting relationships with other dolphins usually hanging out in pairs. - Dolphins teach their young skills. Knowledge is passed from older to younger; one example is that a research team found a group of dolphins teaching the young how to cover their snouts with sponges to protect them while foraging for food! "Perdy smart, even if I do say so myself!" - Dolphins enjoy other dolphins by exhibiting playful behavior: often including objects, self-made bubble rings, and they participate in the play with other dolphins or other animals. They are known to carry the object or animal they are playing with by passing it along to other members of the group or taking it from another member, or throwing it out of the water. I really want my boys to care about people, to know how to live peaceably in a complicated world, and to enjoy life with the friends they have been given. Nothing makes me more happy than when my boys enjoy the company of the other. But there is a difference between joy and stupid entertainment, and this is where the third animal comes into play... BLUE GILL: Not much to say about this fish: - They are abundant, you can find them everywhere. - They are stupid. - They travel in large groups and always flow with the current. - They like shiny things; and once they see it, they bite it. More times than not, it ends at their own peril! What is so tragic about the blue-gill is that most young men fall into this category. When we don't teach boys how to become dolphins they usually end up following the crowd chasing shiny stupid enjoyments that will end up destroying them. Have you ever watched "2 1/2 men?" Case closed. (Oh, by the way, there is one bit of information I found that I think you will find very interesting and appropriate concerning the blue-gill: "As a female approaches, the male blue-gill will begin circling and making grunting noises." Somethings never change.) So...for those of you who have boys, ask yourself, which animal do you hope they become? Or more appropriately, which animal have you let them behave like? In Titus 2:6 there is one singular quality given that we are to teach young men; I believe it is the key to dolphin living: "Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled." Sadly, this is the main thing both sharks and blue-gill are lacking. What's swimming in your pool? You've seen her - - that girl - - the one over there laughing. She defines what's popular. Secretly, most girls think she's stuck up. Boys call her untouchable, and yet, people still buzz around her like bees in fawning silence. She loves it! I call her the "laughing-girl." I first heard this term from a book my mom had me read called "A Testimony of Two Men" by Taylor Caldwell. The author described the laughing-girl as a person who laughs because the world is hers! Starting from birth - her uncommon outward beauty mystifies and draws circles of devotees who love to watch her laugh at the world around her. She owns it, and she knows it. You have seen girls like this: They walk through a room smirking knowing everyone is staring, knowing everyone is comparing, knowing no-one even comes close. They are always texting because they are never really present in the moment, "I have better things to do." She 's too good to soil herself in the affairs of the admiring peasants around her." She is a queen, she is her dad's pet, her mom vicariously lives through her life. So they give her the world...so she rightfully takes selfies & she laughs. Is she spoiled? "No," says her mom, "she's one-of-a-kind." (A finer and superior kind). Her beauty, however, fades.... As a Christian dad that loves his two daughters, I do not want them to be "laughing-girls." Yes, laughing-girls are popular and strangely compelling, but they wither quickly as their beauty fades. They are like an annual flower, good for the spring and early summer season, but dead by mid-August -- never to flower again. About four yeas ago I was outside weeding a flower bed in our yard. My oldest daughter came out and she seemed sad. As a father, it is hard to watch your daughter struggle through the cruel maze of popularity and status ...laughing-girls seem to always win; because they somehow get to set the rules for the game. So while I was planting some flowers, I told my daughter, "Do you know the difference between an 'annual flower' and a 'perennial?' Annuals are all cosmetic, they bloom quick and fade fast. Perennials, on the other hand, start slow, burying their roots deep in the ground, and each new spring they come back with bigger flowers and an abundance of blooms. The winter season doesn't kill them, but makes them stronger! Whereas for annuals... they can't survive." So it is with "laughing-girls." I told her how the Jr. High and High School years are like the 'annual flower's' spring and early summer. This is the "laughing-girl's" time to bloom. They are invited to the parties, they laugh in the car while their entourage laughs with them, and they play with boys like a cat plays with mice. And to the watching world, they seem to always win! But I wouldn't want to marry a "laughing-girl"...as they say, high maintenance!!! You have to keep them laughing, keep them happy, no sad moments allowed. And when one moment of struggle, things don't go their way, or a wrinkle on their face appears...brother look-out! The storm is about to burst! In other words, the annual flower always fades. Perennials, however, take time to grow. They are not quite to full bloom during those Jr High and High School years...and that is tough. But remember, the roots are growing... It is funny, when I was a youth pastor and I had a perennial girl in my group I would often tell her, "High School is a fantasy! Just hang in there until college, because that is when life will really begin!" I want my daughter to be a perennial: Where she is self-sufficient, smart, having skills other than applying eye-liner and mascara. I want my daughter to know how to use logic in argument and not to just know how to smile for an Instagram. I want my daughter to wait for the right man who works hard to deserve her...and not to use sex and dating as a game. I want my daughter to know her God! I am going to a Men's Retreat this weekend, and while I am there I get to talk to men about being men. I love doing that...but even more rewarding than that is having the chance to raise my very own perennials! What a gift! Daughters....love you girls! |
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