To be, or not to be, that is the question-- Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune, Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? To die, to sleep-- No more; and by a sleep, to say we end The Heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks That Flesh is heir to? Hamlet wondered, is it better to live or die? Should we continue this madness of wandering through a broken world, or embrace the sleep of peaceful death? Which is better? My answer may sound strange, but I think it is better to die now in order to live later. "So Chris, are you contemplating suicide? You think it is actually okay to consider the Dr. Kevorkian option? What is wrong with you?" No, that is not what I mean by dying...here let me show you how Jesus explains it in John 12:24-25... "I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life." Jesus is not talking about physical death, but rather he is talking about the death of "Self!" Self is that nasty part of me that wants to be first, wants to always win, wants the attention, wants to have things, wants to eat things all the time, wants to grab things, wants to look at things I shouldn't, wants to yell at people, wants to get mad for no reason, wants to want - - Self is the brute beast inside all of us that has a first name - "PRIDE." This part of me must die in order for the person God really wants me to be to live. Dying in very simple terms, is to 'hate' Self. Oh, I know, we are never ever supposed to hate - - but when it comes to our pride, we are told not just to hate it, but we must hunt it down and kill it. I call this attitude the "Good Hate." If it wasn't for this animal inside of me, Jesus would never had to of died. His perfect goodness and innocence was forfeited because of my terrible sickness of Self. I am to blame! I must die. That is why I must hate this part of me - - that is why I want him dead. Paul the Apostle says every true Christian must wrestle with Hamlet's question. And they must understand that the correct answer is choosing the negative of "Not to Be" - - it is the only way for my New Self, fashioned in the likeness of Christ, to live! Listen to him in Galatians 2:20... "I am crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life that I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Amazing but terribly confusing. How does this verse make any sense? You must wrestle with it if you are ever going to properly die: (1) "How can I be crucified but still be alive?" The first "I" in the opening sentence represents that brute beast of Self; it includes "Pride" and all of his trappings. Look at it like this - - Look deep down inside: What makes you think you are more special than other people? What do you want others to admire about you, or be impressed by? However you answer those questions is that part of you that must die. For instance: Growing up I really thought I looked and acted like Tom Cruise. I really did, sad, I know. He was only a few years older than me and every new movie that came out I tried to copy and be like him: "Top Gun" I bought a bomber jacket and considered joining the Air Force, "Cocktail" caused me to become a bar tender, "Far & Away" I wanted to fist fight and talk with an Irish brogue. Stupid, but this was part of my Self's "identity" -- "I" (Pride) wanted to be cool, good looking, and attractive to ladies. What do you identify yourself with? "I am a great Hunter," "I am smart", "I can throw a football over a roof", "I have the nicest hair", "I have a great singing voice." Whatever it is that you are "proud of" or identify yourself with, must die. Not in the sense that you can't hunt anymore, or sing, or throw a football; but in the sense of not thinking you are better than others because of these things. Learn to say to Self, "Who Cares!" Who cares if you can sing well, who cares if you are pretty and wear size 4 dress, who cares if it is November and it is your time to hunt! NO, all of these things are attitudes driven by Self: demanding, wanting, proving, competing, primping, flexing, winning! Kill it! (2) "How do I let the New Self live?" The second "I" in the second sentence represents the New Self, the one that pleases God and begins to look and act like Jesus. Let him LIVE! But how? Take on the identity you know Jesus wants you to have, put on the new self of "Kindness", "Humilty", "Patience", "Peace", "Forgiveness", and above all "Love" (Colossians 3:12-13). Practically speaking, instead of saying "Who Cares" ask "What does Jesus care about." In each situation, care the way Jesus does. If you are married, Jesus really does care about how you look at other women, Jesus cares about how you treat your spouse, and Jesus cares about your tongue. Jesus even cares if your hunting trip is killing your wife because she always has to stay home with four screaming children while you get to yuck it up with your friends at a cabin. "How tremendously selfish is that?" Very simply, your new identity is to be found only in Jesus. This will be difficult, because you have to say "no" to Self all the time. And every time you say "no" it is like dying. I had a conversation once with a person struggling with 'homosexuality.' He said that he knows he was born gay and because of that it was impossibly hard for him not to act out on his natural urges. He felt that since those urges were of such an incredible intensity (note: Self's perspective always thinks they have it worse than others, or is more intense & real than the average person), he thought that gave him the perfect right to give in. I asked him, "Are you in Christ?" He said, "Yes...but you just don't understand how hard it is. I am not sure if he would be accepting of my choice; but that is who I am, I can't help it. I am gay and I am must be true to who I am regardless of my conservative upbringing." I asked, "So, you are choosing your identity to be gay over being in Christ?" He paused and said, "But I can't help it; the desire is so strong." I then said, "Why is your natural desire stronger than the heterosexual man who wants to look at porn and cheat on his wife? Would it be O.K. for him to say, 'I have a natural bent to look at naked ladies, you don't know how hard it is not to act out on these urges?'" The man said, "Well, that is categorically wrong in every way, he is married, and Jesus would not like it." So I simply asked, "Tell me, what is the difference?" Identifying with Jesus means to live my life the way he would want me to, no matter how hard, painful, or extreme it feels. Death always hurts, it often will feel like you are 'shedding your blood'. Paul in his Galatians verse knew this; that is why he ends the verse with laying the firm foundation of "Christ's love". The reason I should die to Self and follow Jesus even when it feels like "I" am being crushed is because "He Loves Me." And if he really loves me, I should be able to trust him, right? That leads to the final part of the verse -- It gives all of us the reason why we can trust him even in the middle of being killed, crushed and destroyed, "He gave himself for me." He died for me! Because he died he wants me to trust him, and then die too. And he promises, if I die, I will live. How do I know I will live - - because he rose from the grave. Do you see? In order to live (New Self) I (Old Self) must die. I will be honest, death is not easy, Tom Cruise doesn't die easy. Have you ever seen him in Mission Impossible? He keeps on surviving - - and he tries to do the same thing with my Self. But Jesus is sick of the cool guy, the macho man, the impressive stud. He wants that guy dead, and in place of that he wants to replace him with the humble guy, the meek man, the weak sinner turned saint. Death kills. But like a seed, to really have the abundant life, dying is the only way to live! I choose, "Not to Be!"
3 Comments
Fabienne Freeland
9/5/2014 12:55:01 am
What amazes me is how good your life is when you are dead to yourself. Suddenly God is able to do his work through you. Then you wonder why did I hold on to myself so long? Why do I keep getting in way? If we only knew the freedom there is in death! If we knew the fulfillment we wouldn't hang on so long! Dying is a gain not a loss! But it is a every day battle...good thing God see our hearts yearning for Him...and not just the failures. Jesus is our defense, our righteousness! Let's offer ourselves as a living sacrifice (Rom. 12:1-2).
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Christopher Weeks
9/5/2014 01:13:10 am
Thanks Fabienne!
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Darin
9/5/2014 01:28:42 pm
Tom Cruise is hard to ditch. When I do, life is good. Its so easy to slip back into that old self believing life can be better, it always gets worse.
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